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QUOTE:"My advice to couples is to learn to be tolerant. We want to live in the sky, we need a car, we need a house, and then we become lovers of material things. When the love is built on material things and because of the dynamism of life, things begin to fall apart".
Pastor Jonathan Imogu is the Snr. Pastor of Victory Inheritance Ministry located in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria who recently celebrated 14th marriage anniversary, he shares the secret of a successful marriage in an exclusive interview with Flies magazine.
As a man of God, what do you make of people who do not believe in God?
Well this question you asked me takes me back to Romania in 1999 when I was privilege to start up the first redeem church in Eastern Europe. I met a lady while I was reaching out, who put it straight to me and said pastor Jonathan, I don’t believe in God but my mother believes in God and I chose my father‘s line. I knew it was a difficult task for you to start talking to somebody about Jesus Christ who is our saviour without establishing the personality of God. I had to set out the word of God which is expressly clear in the fact that; it’s only a fool that says there is no God. Somehow you may not also blame some of these people who chose this side of life because, of their background or where they are coming from, probably they grew up in an environment where God is not talked about. Automatically, they have to grow with that mentality and mindset.
Recently, you celebrated your 14th marriage Anniversary; what is the secret behind the success of your marriage so far?
If somebody told me my marriage is 14 years old today, I really couldn't believe it. Like I used to tell my good friend, Mr. Nelson, a look at our kids ‘yelling’ reminds us the day at the hospital when he or she was born. What we are celebrating here today is 14 years of experience, 14 years of Joy, 14 years of maturity, 14 years of God, 14 years of love. When you get married to your friend and not imposed on you, there’s no reason why you should not be celebrated. I believe that I got married to my friend, somebody I love, somebody who loves me, somebody who believes in me, somebody who is real to me. The issue we have these days is that we live a falsehood life, where there's a lot of pretense, What I call "Abuja marriage". Young men tell lies to girls to give them false hope and lure them into marriage. The grace of God helps us to tell each other the truth.
I was in the university about graduating when I saw my wife, and told her she's got everything that I needed in a wife but let’s keep praying and as time progressed I told her clearly that I was going to be a pastor . Since then, I have given her my best to make her proud, and she has given me her best; that is the secret to where we are today.
What are the Challenges most marriages encounter?
If any person tells you there are no challenges in marriage, the person is telling lies.
Firstly, couples come from different backgrounds. I remember when we just got married, there was a day she brought food for us to eat, she served the food on the table and then went to the kitchen to fetch us some water, she was still in the kitchen when I started eating and when she came back ,she was like ah! You could not even wait for me, I got upset and said but I thought the food was meant for me! so what's “ehm” why did you not wait for me before you started eating? Eventually, I pulled back a little and began to consider what she said and after a while I called her and said; you know what? Don't blame me, our background are different. I grew up in Maroko which is the Oniru ( Lekki ) of today, in a family of six. For my mother, after food is ready, she would dish it out and give you your own plate. You would then quickly go and land in any location you find yourself within the environment and start eating. Sometimes you might even finish before the sixth person. There was no dinning, nothing like waiting for each other. It was a matter of eat your own as you receive but my wife is from a place where they have dinning table, eat together and pray together. So she came from her own experience, I came from my own experience. And we collided. That was why I responded the way I responded though i felt uncomfortable. By the grace of God, we have passed all of that today.
How do you balance your role as a Pastor and as a husband?
The reason why most pastors find it difficult to be able to achieve success is that, they place themselves above the church. The first thing a Pastor should always teach the flock is to believe in Our Lord Jesus Christ. Open the scripture to the person, and then say what the word of God said concerning that person, but some Pastors have devoted time to talk more about themselves, they have build the people around themselves and that is why when they are not there nothing is happening. The more disciples you empower, whether the pastor is there or not you don’t even feel it. It’s all about raising people, and designating them. That is why anytime I am away; nobody really misses me because it is about the word of God and not the Pastor. The same thing goes to my family. My wife is a pastor like myself but she has a private business and controls her time in other to have time for the kids and for the church. Outside my official travel, I only travel during my holidays which is usually once a year or once in two years.
How do you see divorce in our society of today?
The only way we can contain it is very simple, it is not by condemning those who are divorced, it is not by fighting against divorce, it is about going back to the basics. The question is how marriages are generally contracted? That is what you should ask yourself, if the foundation of any building is weak, it is a matter of time before the building will crack and it will go down. The reasons some give for divorce are so funny when compared to what our fathers went through, yet they stayed together with our mothers. When I got married, I remember what my late mother-in –law told my wife,she said you are the one who brought this guy and said you found love, She gave her a wrapper to tie on her waist and told her to pull it, she pulled and pulled to the extent that she was feeling pains, and then, my mother-in-law said, that's what it takes to get into marriage, we can't eat our cake and have it back. In the book of Timothy, St. Paul talked to Timothy about the fact that we have been described as soldiers of Christ and that we must learn how to endure always. If you learn to be humble before your wife, your wife has no choice but to be humble before you too, but if you say you want to be the boss she too will tell you she is not a second fiddle.
What is your advice to the married and the single?
My advice to couples is to learn to be tolerant. We want to live in the sky, we need a car, we need a house, and then we become lovers of material things. When the love is built on material things and because of the dynamism of life, things begin to fall apart.
Word of note for Flies magazine
Great! Jesus said something, I say go ye into the world and make disciples, that is, spread the news through this magazine you can never tell the person who is going to read this interview by so doing people will say who is this Pastor Jonathan if not for Flies magazine there is no way i would have heard from this new person, this helper, this adviser. I am very grateful for the effort, the sacrifice you and your team have taken to project the dreams and the vision of men and women across the globe. My prayer is that God will open doors by bringing in people who will appreciate what you are doing and do their best possible to give their support .if not for this great magazine, I would not have had the opportunity to talk to a larger people than my congregation, but I know through Flies magazine many people are going to know about Victory Inheritance Ministry.
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