THE PROPOSAL
SYNDROME
Being a lady
is one of the most exciting things in the world. Coupled with the hullabaloo of
adolescence and hitting the mark of puberty, another thing that causes
butterflies to flutter inside a woman's love castle, is the proposal!!! Yes, we
know that the thought of marriage, spending eternity with the love of your life
couldn't be more enthralling. We spend so much time preparing for the wedding,
but there is always one tiny detail of the marriage festivity that many African
men seem to overlook and that's the proposal.
I still wonder why a few ladies too do not
insist on a proper “Will you marry me?” process. I ask them, 'So what you knew
he was going to propose? So what you guys have been dating for a long time?'
Nothing can replace the euphoria and the memories of the proposal. You want to
have something to look back at during the course of the marriage and say, “my
husband does have a romantic side”. I know it's not a guarantee that he will be
but you can at least have a video or a clip or even picture of the proposal and
still have cause to smile. Once, a
girlfriend told me that he just gave her the ring and she had to put it on her
finger herself and it wasn't such a big deal. All my insides screamed “What?!
No way!!!”. At the end of the day, there is no story to tell there- Just plain
old ring and an engagement. Guys, you all need to try. Give your woman
something to look forward to. Let her want to get married. I can bet that the
reason why many ladies say “Yes!” so fast and excitedly is because their
husbands took their time in preparing for the proposal. No one wants to be left
hanging on one knee, ring in hand and end up going home with a large dent in
his heart. The sight isn't pretty at all.
I say it and still say it though. If he
doesn't get the proposal right, as much as I want to say “Yes” because I'm
smartly in love with him (not madly), he's going to go back and strategize a
better proposal so I can have an exciting story to tell all who want their own
fairy-tale too. So my good gentlemen out there, it's not just for you to say “I
want to get married”. Whether she has an idea that you do want to spend all
days with her or not, though you have messed up quite a number of anniversary
dates, birthdays or just dates, you and your boo have set out to be happy, do
ensure you get the proposal right. The proposal is to be looked forward to.
Trust me, most oftentimes the ladies would be glad they are telling the whole
world they are getting married just because of the way the guy proposed. I'm
sure my girls are with me on this one. No one wants to be put into the shoes of
having to formulate a cock and bull story of how a day which was supposed to
start an exciting journey turned out to be boring and without thrills. Trust me
girls, I'm sure you don't want to seem like a Hollywood star wannabe in the
midst of your personal storytelling.
Red alert!
Ladies!!!!! Don't get carried away and snatch the ring from dear boo's hands.
You don't want to seem desperate. It's okay to act surprised, it makes it more
special.
Gentlemen!
Please add more spice to your romanticism. There are a thousand and one ways to
propose and still make it feel special. As much as you want to get her to marry
you (in some cases, you have no choice), you also want to prove that you are
'serious' and know how to go the extra mile. No matter how busy you are, plan
for this special occasion. It doesn't have to be expensive. Some movies would
reveal that wine and the whole candlelight show is necessary. It just might not
be the Achilles heel to your woman's heart. You got to find the blind spot.
Take something of her interest and use it to express yourself. It could be her
favourite movie (sounds lame right?) or a favourite place you go together (this
is 9ja sha, I doubt ime ago that what causes a lot of challenges in marriage
and relationships as a whole, is the fact that most Nigerian guys start what
they cannot finish which is in most cases true. Amidst the many messages we
will listen to, two things; be original and increase your value. Don't be fake
and have purpose for yourself. Whew! I'm beginning to sound like a marriage
counsellor. Bottom-line, mean what you say and say what you mean. It can't get
crazier than that. Else, you'll leave someone doubting if you were actually the
right person for him or her as the case may be. Here are a few things to
consider when planning the proposal:people have a favourite place but just in
case there is). Just in case your sweetheart is a sucker for words, like I am,
I'll admit, you might just need the help of a writer. Work at a marvellous
piece together and read it to her. Now, now hold on. I'm not stating that you
use someone else's words to do tradition. Let it come from your heart. Whatever
it is you have to say. Mean it please!!! A friend of mine told me a long time
ago that what causes a lot of challenges in marriage and relationships as a
whole, is the fact that most Nigerian guys start what they cannot finish which
is in most cases true. Amidst the many messages we will listen to, two things;
be original and increase your value. Don't be fake and have purpose for
yourself. Whew! I'm beginning to sound like a marriage counsellor. Bottom-line,
mean what you say and say what you mean. It can't get crazier than that. Else,
you'll leave someone doubting if you were actually the right person for him or
her as the case may be. Here are a few things to consider when planning the
proposal:
Ø What did you think when you first
met her?
Ø When did you realise that you might
want to spend your life with her?
Ø What impact has she made being a
part of your life?
Ø What does she inspire you to do?
Ø What goals and values do you two share?
Also, who
ever said flowers aren't nice. Please kick locality to the curb. You want to be
seen as a great guy not just nice? Have some swag. Greatness Does as Greatness
does. Don't forget to have someone capture you in your smitten moment. Girls
love the memories!!!
Alright
people! Start your engines! Get out there and have the proposal of a lifetime.
Let's see if our guys are up to the task of popping the utmost question of the
century. As much as many scaled through, others had a fall out. Whatever the
case may be, love will definitely find a way to you. Just remember to be built
upon a hill so you can be found. Cheers!!! And topmost success.
Written By
Rachael Wanogho
No comments:
Post a Comment